I wish I were more motivated. I know motivated people, they are a blur of motion, buzzing here and there and getting shit DONE. I am proud of myself if I put a bra on by 9:00 in the morning.
Because I have four kids who are usually clean and show up places with what they need approximately fifty percent of the time, people are often asking me how I do it. At first, when I would hear, ‘I just don’t know how you do it all! I only have two kids and I cannot even imagine!” from a mom who was so clearly more on top of things than I could ever be, EVER, I thought it was a joke. I thought that they were making fun of me. As time has gone on, however, it has occurred to me that, no, people really think I have my shit together and don’t know how I do it. So, as a public service, I write this post about how I do it “All”
I can’t do it all. And, even if I thought I could, I have ADD and a bad case of the fuckits and don’t really want to. I like wasting time. I dig hanging around watching the chickens or dogs or both. I like learning things, and that takes time, which means I may not get something else done. Life is, after all, a long series of choices between this or that. I l’ve choosing both except when one of the choices is laundry. I would seriously rather pick up dog poo than put away laundry.
I think it is a dangerous myth that anyone can do everything. I used to think that people could, that other mothers were doing much better than I was. They’re not. They’re doing different than I am. They are merely making different choices.
Currently, for example, I am choosing to sit my butt on the couch writing a blog post. I should be writing something for an event I’m speaking at Thursday night, or reading an IEP draft that I know is going to annoy me or folding the colossal mountain of laundry on the music room couch. But, nope.
Here are some things that I don’t often do.
- Make cutesy little pumpkins/santas/turkeys out of fruit to serve to my kids class. Truth is, they mostly still know it is fruit and will continue to go for the cookies. Plus, napkins are also needed, come pre decorated and don’t go bad.
- Throw massive themed birthday parties for my kids birthdays. I used to, but I wasn’t good at it, and the kid would rather have a birthday party in the same season as their birthday than have a perfect circus themed spectacular complete with painted clown picture board things and a mother who can make balloon animals (which of course, I can do). *side note, I freaking love these parties, if you are good at them, please consider inviting me.
- Become team mom. You’re welcome. I did this once, it was super stressful! There was even a banner I was supposed to craft. All the letters fell off. (I decided to try out this whole team mom thing for one reason, to avoid the snack chart. it wasn’t worth it.)
- Lead committees. Nobody wants that. SQUIRREL!!
- Put away laundry. I have a whole system in place to avoid doing this job. Because I hate it so deeply.
- Make sock balls. You want sock balls? Do it up! I’m out.
- Make beds. Pfft, Ain’t nobody got time for that.
- Weed the garden. Either grow taller than the grass, or die, those are the options. It’s not pretty, but the tomatoes still did great!
- collect laundry from kids rooms. If you want clean pants, bring it to the laundry area. Mom is too lazy to search for work.
This doesn’t mean I do nothing, obviously with four kids, three dogs, twelve chickens and some mischievous ducks, I have a lot of things to do! I just don’t do everything. Your house is almost certainly tidier than mine, your kids are most likely showering way more often, and perhaps you are busy organizing a wonderful daddy daughter dance! GO YOU! Keep up the good work! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to “Incentivize” a kid to clean up the kitchen so we can make some cookies.